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My soul is hurting

March 15, 2013

Maria new1OK… My soul is hurting. I feel so powerless. :( I have people from all over the world writing me that they have no medicine! That they are discriminated and it is happening here in the United States also!! It is so sad for me to only offer them my prayers and just sit here and feel like I can’t do anything for them and help them!!


This is not only happening with HIV, but with many other diseases like cancer, etc. So many funding cuts…people maybe just don’t give a damn anymore? They are sick and desperate. :( I do not want to be a pessimist, because many people look for me to give them hope and uplift them! I can’t hide the sun with one finger!! I can’t!! I feel desperate for them! This is urgent…as human beings we must do something about this!

Let’s fucking fight! Let’s get ANGRYYYYY! We have to do something and not let this continue to happen!!


Almost all new cases are young people!! :( Like I was! It has been more than 30 years with this bitch of AIDS!!! And people are still not fucking listening. :( Why?

It will be 24 years in April that I hae been living with HIV and I am blessed and have fought to be here. I am losing hope that a cure is coming. To many billions are being made by big pharma! We are a fucking business!

I really believe that if I don’t get hit by a truck, I will die of this disease or toxicity from my HIV medicine that is poison (but keeps me alive). At least I have something that is buying me time to at least prevent someone from getting infected! This is all I live for and care about! And I hope something happens and something changes!

I don’t want to be negative, but it is hard when I get tons of emails and read everywhere the horrible things all of our brothers and sisters are going through. :( I wish I was a millionaire to help, but I am not.

All I have is my story and my passion. And when my body feels weak, my spirit will pull me through.

I hope that in this 900 girl event that is coming up where I am going to speak to all of these students, someoneeeee listens!!

My God…if I only knew then, what I know now!! And we know now!! HIV is preventable!! Use a condom, get tested and love your body! No one is worth your life!

As my dear friend, Mario Pinna Ferri, said in his recent notes:

I have come to a conclusion: HIV is endemic to humankind.

For many years I resisted and fought the very notion of HIV as being endemic wanting to believe that HIV could be eradicated from our midst. At this point, with 33mils infected and less than 1/3 receiving treatment, and with less that 1/4 of those receiving treatment achieving viral suppression, I have to surrender and learn of a new way to live. …



  1. christina polanco permalink
    March 15, 2013 4:41 pm

    we need more compassionate and educated people such as yourself maria to end this epidemic. HIV?AIDS can not and will not end as long as discrimination , stigma and uneducation are still in existance. people like you make it easier for those living with this virus to get the propper medical care and support they need. yes, we need to get better medical care around the world for those infected but if you have to live in shame then ytou cant get the propper care you are in need of.. the stigma has to end. all f the fear and hate has to be destroyed and we as a society have to say enough. does it matter how the person contracted the virus the fact id no one should be discriminated against reguardless of their age, gender sexuality or were they come are doing your part and one day because of people like you an all your hard work this virus will have a cure. god bless you and all the lives you have touched and will continue to touch through your hard work to end the stima and HIV/AIDS once and for all.

  2. March 18, 2013 3:10 am

    Hi Maria,
    I need your advise please, I’ve been leaving with this disease from 2007 and now it seems like I’m fighting a loosing battle nothing I do or take is working. I started taking my meds last year in December and ever since I started I sick and am not getting any better. I’be been going to the gym taking my meds as prescribed but I see I’m loosing myself everyday and I dont know what to do and I’m not so sure that I am going to make it. What is it that you are doing to keep yourself so beautiful and so strong and for you to reach 24 years with the disease???

  3. mariatmejia
    March 18, 2013 10:38 am

    dont worry I will tell you everything that I do and you will be ok!! just hang in there! lets stick together and lets not lose hope even if we get down many times. add me on fb maria hiv mejia. I will add you to my international support group there.

    love and light


  4. mariatmejia
    March 18, 2013 10:27 pm

    Christina your words mean more than you will ever know.

    I will continue till my last breathe <3 love and light

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